Eating

Cornelio Montez

Eating when upset
eating when jealous
eating on a diet
eating when depressed.
It's easy, accessible,
no questions asked:
Erotic to the touch,
the tongue, the fingers--
the texture of a Hostess
cupcake, round, moist,
finding the center,
my center:

cooking in the kitchen,
the smell of puckered beans,
the odor of cut onions,
the fragrance of garlic.
Once I bit the bagel
my teacher clasped
in her hand!

Eating's an addiction
to tether me
during night fears
or a lost fleeting romance.
It's unconditonal love
like Chopin
like a goldfish.

If I could find someone
who excites me
like a hot fudge sundae!

I can be a binger,
sneaking Oreos, Ho-Hos,
apple streudel from
my shadowed
hiding places.
My best friend,
along with a book,
a shield against loneliness,
daddy's indifference.
No muffin
to notice I'm fat.
The only time
I control the rage
of the starving
child inside
my ample body.